Oh my gosh.
First and foremost, I would like to apologize for going MIA during this season of discernment, and appreciate your forgiveness.
Speaking of forgiveness, I would like to also apologize for using my spiritual beliefs as a way to “one-up” those who’ve wronged me, some whom have and known the peace of Christ, internally, without being religious about it, and who have just put up with my process of discovering I’ve had it, too, albeit underneath layers of resistance, chaos, and, what I like to refer to as “muck”. (Psalm 40:1-3)
I would also like to ask for forgiveness for using religion (among other things) to “boost my ego,” so to speak, not heal it. I truly did not know any better.
These confessions are true and real. And, by the grace of God, I am not ashamed to admit my wrongdoing.
Nor should you be. (James 5:16)
When I got married, it was the fact someone was willing to marry me.
When I found yoga, it was that.
When I traveled, it was how many places I traveled to.
When I had a high income, it was the money.
Then, it almost became grad school. Except, I later learned, mental health counseling is actually a call on my life. Not something I could boast about to earn the love or admiration of others and/or use as a metaphorical “middle finger” to those who I have been wronged by. No.
When I was doing this, I was still hurting, harboring resentment toward someone I felt rejected by. I later learned she was a symbol God gave me to heal from the stronghold of resentment I was actually harboring toward mi dear madre (which is mother en espanol just trying to spice and lighten this up even more 😉). I was heartbroken, and it was bad.
BUT, by the grace of GOD.
I thank God that He never gave up on me. He sent Jesus to intercede for me so I could acknowledge these things, heal, reconcile my relationship with and be set free from trauma and a lack of knowledge of Him.
I know better now–that although the above listed things are good and healing to my heart and to my soul (marriage, yoga, travel, money, etc), I am not defined by any of them.
And I no longer use my relationship with Christ as a weapon (although, in many ways, it is just that).
I use it to share and encourage others to not be afraid of the capital T, Truth.
Which leads to the purpose of this message…
A cross in the sky is a sign for the times we are in.
A sign we can cast our anxiety unto Him, a sign He does care for us. (1 Peter 5:7)
A sign the sense of peace we have despite any chaos going on around us comes from Him. (John 14:27)
A sign He has overcome the world. (John 16:33)
A sign of His unconditional, unending love. (Psalm 117:2)
I realize it’s hard to believe. I really do. Especially with all the suffering in the world and hypocrisy we humans tend to perpetuate.
And, honestly, I can see how we can use the scriptures to justify any of our opinions and perspectives, and, not to mention, our pain.
Thankfully, however, I have grown to be able to use them as a way to support and deliver the Truth about God’s grace and forgiveness.
And it’s all because I believed.
With humility and love,
Michele
Use of scriptures: I get high with a little help from my friends <3
Next week: “God’s grace is sufficient, indeed” |
