If there were a pill to free us from emotional bondage, it would be called forgiveness.
Just like any other treatment, forgiveness–of ourselves and of others–is a choice. It doesn’t mean the wrong we’ve done or that was done to us–deliberately or inadvertently–was ok and is excused. It means we are ready to learn from our mistakes and be set free from guilt, shame, anger, and bitterness.
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV
But how? Because if I’m just striving to obey this scripture, I could end up suppressing what I need to “get rid of” and become uneasy and sick! I asked God to help, because I trust Him.
Aside from courage and bravery, my journey of forgiveness required a willingness to receive from God His grace and forgiveness, as well as consistent reflection and humility. After all, the wrongs that were done to me I could see myself doing–and perhaps have even done!–to others in the past, even if by mistake, even if by ignorance. I was cognizant about becoming self-righteous, which I had become for a while. And, I believed if I forgave myself, those who wronged me would be forgiven and, therefore, they would be blessed and be free. And I didn’t want that. Oh, no. I did not want those I harbored bitterness toward to be blessed or free. I was angry, jealous and, well, hurt.
But God continued to lead and edify me with His love, not condemnation, and humble me by showing me His blessings are not contingent on our forgiveness of each other, but on His grace and His mercies, which are new each and every morning.
He also revealed to me how harboring bitterness, resentment, anger, and un-forgiveness is poisonous to our heart–as well as to our mind and our body. And, that I am not alone.
Having the courage to acknowledge what I was feeling, then speak openly with friends about it helped alleviate the shame that comes with having emotions which are judged–and which we have been programmed to judge–as “negative” by society, the suppression and denial of which–because of fear of judgement–has caused much strife, dis-order, and dis-ease for many.
Please read that again.
So, why would I not feel convicted to choose the path, no, receive the gift of freedom through the act of forgiveness, albeit the (temporarily) more painstaking one?
Why would I not choose to be the woman God made me to be, a righteous woman, willing to forgive myself and help others work through “negative” emotions and forgive themselves, without shaming or judging them, but with patience, compassion, and transparency so they, too, can become all God created them to be.
Next week: Forgiving God
