Some Say Love

I had the revelation recently, not all of us understand love and what loving and being loved feels like.Reflecting back on my own painful past, and relating to youths I volunteer with who are incarcerated through personal experience (not with incarceration, but with trauma), I had the profound realization, many of these awesome kids were born into it (trauma).  And, a mother in survival mode may not have the capacity to experience the love she actually has for her unborn baby and, sadly, but most likely, never experienced this love herself (or, at least, consciously).A mentor and Sister in Christ once edified me, “Love is not a feeling,” she said.I understand this.  Love is a choice.  It is a commitment.”Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8Then, Father God, what is it I am feeling?Grief.  Loss.  Emptiness.  Pain.  Un-wholeness.  Unworthiness.  Lust?The repercussions of generations of, well, sin.But, Father God, without this sensation, I will feel dead!No, Beloved.  You will feel whole.  And you will go out and do great things.While I am not sure this feeling or “sensation” (heartache?) will ever “go away,” God has revealed to me how it can be put to good use.To empathize.  To forgive.And, to love.With humility and love,MicheleWrite to me!Please write to me any time you need prayer.  It would be my pleasure to pray for and with you!Next week: “One thing leads to another”